Trump Corruption Coin

CALIFORNIA ANNOUNCEMENT: MANY PEOPLE ARE ASKING about NEW MERCH. After a very illuminating chat with the former guy about his latest crypto grift, the team said, “Governor, should we mint something educational?” So yes-we’re exploring a limited-edition TRUMP CORRUPTION COIN. Collectible! Shiny! Useful for demonstrating how fast a get-rich-quick scheme can go from “TO THE MOON” to “TO THE LAWYER.”

We’ll price it fairly-unlike certain projects-so everyday Americans can afford a laugh without mortgaging the house for gas fees. Side A: “Promises.” Side B: “Indictments.” Edge lettering: “Terms: TWO.” (Read the Constitution, folks.) Proceeds go to things that actually exist-roads, schools, clean energy-because we prefer returns that aren’t measured in caps-lock.

To the critics: relax. It’s satire. To the fans: consider it a commemorative of the era when “leadership” meant merch first, country later. California will keep doing the boring stuff-balanced budgets, jobs, climate action-while others chase the next magical coin that solves everything except reality.

STAY TUNED. VERY LEGAL, VERY COOL. — GCN